Every so often I run across a terrible, blatant and awful pickup line and I save it in my file of Things To Have Veronica Say To A Person. Comics write themselves, honestly, I don’t know why everyone complains about how hard it is.
“Wasn’t that dangerous?” Bev asked, astonished.
Veronica shrugged. “Oh, once in a while someone would try something,” she said airily. “It wouldn’t end well. For them.”
“D’you still…?” Bev asked, trailing off before finishing her question.
“Nah, I’m semi-retired. —Which means I only do it in semis.”
“uuggh. Really?” Maeve groaned.
“Do you like it?” Bev asked, ignoring Veronica’s awful flirting.
“Love it,” Veronica said. “I’ve always been curious, and I love briefly touching people’s lives. For some of us it’s just a job, or they’re desperate—but I kept on doing it because I wanted to. People are amazing in their intimate moments. And, in answer to the question you’re not asking: yes, I wanna ride you like something that takes quarters.”
Maeve held her iPad over her face. “oh my god,” she moaned.
“I didn’t!” Bev protested.
“Girl, please,” Veronica insisted. “You drive for a living, you must grasp the concept of signaling. You’re cute, I like you, you helped us out, and it would be my sincere privilege.”
Bev faced forward, blushing. “Aw, I broke her!” Veronica grinned, leaning over. “Well, ready when you are.”
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